The Gray Garden: The Past Is In The Past [eng]

They were living in peace. Whatever that really meant. Kcalb wasn't sure, but pretended he didn't care. To be honest, the devil somehow enjoyed the sudden calm, which became part of his daily life. No fight, no blood, no rage… That's all were so… soothing.

However, he wasn't able to get used to this new world. To her world. The same he once destroyed. And here we go! God somehow made him feel guilt. How unusual is that be?

As much as the peace between us, he thought and sighed.

The outside got darker. Kcalb  rarely went out during the day. Sunlight irritated him, too bright and warm, different from the cold embraces of earth he used to. What's more, after twilight, he didn't have to worry about meeting anyone. Villagers – both, angels and demons – were afraid of the dark, which seemed understandable.

So he started to get outside after sunset and just strolled, sightseeing this new world. He avoided seeing his brother and, more importantly, Etihw. Especially in the case of a god, he doubted they had anything else to say to each other. They just lived next to each other because it was more convenient.

Why did he even agree to something like that…?

Whatever. Loneliness was soothing as well. Different from during the war, when it seemed to be a warning. Kcalb still wasn't able to lower his guard, but maybe in future…

For the first time, he decided to see what was south of the village. He passed through a sleepy town, curious looking at all these houses and buildings. So she worked. He knew Etiwh was a god, but still… Her creations impressed him all the time, especially now, when he didn't mean to destroy them.

The sound of water brought him out of his thoughts. He looked  ahead to discover clearly view of starry sky and the sea below. There was something what seemed to be a cliff. Black water was slowly waving, making a smooth sound. That was… so nice.

Suddenly, Kcalb felt someone's presence. Too familiar, especially for him. He tensed, then looked around. Devil's gaze lingered on the figure turned back to him. She was sitting on the edge, calm and relaxed. Long black hair was over her shoulders and back. Etihw didn't turn away, but Kcalb was sure she was feeling him as well as he felt her.

He hesitated and was able to withdraw, but her voice stopped him in place.

"You can stay if you want. I don't mind."

Kcalb didn't answer and just stayed still. He looked away, unsure what to do. When did they talk last time? He wasn't sure, but it must have been a few weeks ago.

"You know, I wondered if you ever go outside. I didn't want things to get so awkward between us", she said, just keep talking, while he looked at her in silence. "I'm not sure what to do anyway."

What did she mean? Without thinking, Kcalb stepped forward and slowly came closer. He was able to see her face and find out she was smiling – a bit nervous, but still.

Devil sat next to her, gazing to see. They were in silence for a while. On the corner of his eyes, Kcalb saw she was sitting still with her legs off the edge. The white robe she was wearing blew gently in the breeze.

First time he saw her in that calm state. Etihw didn't seem concerned that she might be attacked by him or pushed into the sea. Did she really trust him that much? After everything he did? She wasn't a saint, of course, but…

Suddenly she looked at him. Kcalb blushed and quickly looked away.

"Hey", a god said, holding back a laugh. "You're not very talkative, are you?"

"I'm…" He started, but paused.

"It's okay. I like to talk, so don't mind. Sorry not sorry."

He huffed. What was wrong with her? Did she really want him to chit-chat? He didn't know this side of her. In his eyes, she was an enemy, at least until recently. A god of great power that he wanted to destroy. Until the last moment, but then he saw something in her eyes…something hard to describe and…

Kcalb blushed even more.

"But on the other hand, keeping the conversation going just by me is no fun, so… What do you think?" She nodded at the water in front of her. "About the sea. Personally, I like it very much."

He didn't answer right away. He cleared his throat, trying to control the strange tightness he suddenly felt.

"It's… so calm", he said at last.

"Yes… Yes, it is", she admitted with a smile. "That's why I always came here to rest. And thinking as well."

Etihw's last words seemed to be addressed mostly to herself. Still in thought, a god ran her fingers through her hair. She wrapped a long strand around her finger and studied it carefully. Kcalb looked at her in silence, trying to figure out why she told him all of these things. Did she really want someone to chat with? Even if that was true… Why did she choose him?

Etihw seemed different from before. Maybe Kcalb saw her that way, because she no longer acted like the angry god, whose fall he wanted. For the first time, he noticed how small she was. The ornate robe hid her filigree figure, and the fact that Etihw was hovering most of the time made her look taller than she really was. Why hadn't he noticed it before?

Something touched the back of his hand. He clenched it into a fist and was about to take it away, when he realized it was her hair. They were smooth and surprisingly soft to the touch.

"You look at me so strange…", she whispered, tilting her head.

Kcalb almost fell from the cliff, surprised by her words. He pulled away, straightening up sharply.

This time she laughed.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just thinking… Oh."

Etihw got up. Without any warning, she grabbed the hem of her robe and began to pull it off. She tossed it aside, leaving her in nothing but a simple dress. Kcalb stared at her in disbelief, completely shocked.

"What the hell are you…?"

He shook his head. Damn, was she testing him? Was it some kind of trick?

But she was looking at him with the most innocent, confused expression he ever saw.

"What?"

"What?!", he repeated. Was she kidding? "Are you serious?"

Etihw furrowed her brows. She smoothed the fabric of her petticoat, looking at it thoughtfully.

"Hm... It's more comfortable, but that's not it. I could..."

Her hands began to glow. Kcalb growled and covered himself with his cloak. He didn't want to know what she was doing.

"You've just taken you to dress-up right now?!", he moaned, not hiding his irritability.

"Something wrong? I've been thinking about it for a long time, you know. There's no need to be so formal, and since you're uncomfortable around me…"

"Not at all!"

Why did she even care? How had she been able to act so casual around him? Okay, they made peace, but this?

He dared to peek at her from behind his cloak. Her robe changed, no longer pure white. It resembled the one Etihw had worn before, though it was more modest and less restrictive. God didn't seem so powerful anymore.

"You don't have to be lurking. I'm dressed, you know?"

"It's all I need ...", he muttered, still shielding his face.

"Did you say anything?"

He ignored the question.

"Do you often do things like that around other people?", he asked instead.

"What things?" Apparently she really didn't understand. Could it be that she was so... innocent? "It's just a few changes. I'm a god, remember?"

As if he couldn't! But it didn't make him feel any better. He didn't understand her. And if that wasn't enough, he found the situation really odd. How did they even get here?

Etihw obviously didn't care. She was still examining her new robe, playing with the wide sleeves.

"What do you think?"

"I really don't care what you look like."

She nodded.

"I need help," she announced cheerfully, and sat back down on the edge of the cliff.

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Of course. But that doesn't mean I can't ask for help," she remarked calmly. As if nothing had happened, she turned her back on him. "I want you to cut my hair."

Kcalb blinked as if she were speaking to him in a foreign language.

"Wha-?"

"Come on! I can't do it myself. I don't have eyes in the back of my head."

"You're a god. You just said it yourself", he remarked, backing away. "And why now? You have Wodash anyway, so…"

"I'm a god with no eyes in the back of my head", she corrected him and sighed. "Please! Pretty please!"

No, he definitely didn't think she was like that. He had his opposite in front of him. The real Etihw turned out to be lively, impulsive and far too loud.

And it was definitely hard to say no to her.

"I don't… Ugh, fine!"

He immediately regretted it. Starting at her long hair, Kcalb was wondering what to do. Just the fact that he was about to touch them seemed…

"Here." She gathered her hair together. "Cutting is your specialty, isn't it?", she joked, but he only winced at the words.

Was that supposed to be a prank? As they fought, he hurt her many times, and she hurt him. Did she really want to go back to that?

He dismissed this thought. He touched her hair with trembling hands.

Yes, they were soft.

"Where…?", he began with doubt.

Etihw pondered.

"Below the shoulders? I'll rely on your sense."

Great. At worst, he was about to start another war over badly cut hair. It sounded promising.

It was one quick cut. Dark curls fell to the ground without making a sound. What a pity…, Kcalb thought as he moved away. He looked down at his hand with doubt, but there was no sign of claws. Reassured, he covered himself with his cloak, trying to keep from staring too long at the motionless god.

Etihw tilted her head left and right. She touched her short hair, examining its length. She gracefully jumped to her feet, then turned to the devil, who watched her.

"That's what I meant," she said with a smile. "How I look?"

At first, he was going to repeat that he wasn't interested in her appearance. Still, he studied a god's face, avoiding her eyes.

Dark, short strands framed Etihw's face, enhancing its round shape. She looked softer and more serene, as if some enormous weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Kcalb doubted it was just the cut of his hair.

"I guess...you look good."

Etihw giggled.

"What a precise answer," she said with amusement. She stretched like a cat. "I'm going back to the castle. I need a mirror." She smiled. "Hey, Kcalb… We talked and nothing happened. I say that just in case you ever want to join me. I can drive a monolog if need be", she said, and it sounded serious. "Thank you for your help and nice company. If I don't like my hair, I'll come back with a complaint."

He snorted. What was that? She must have been joking, which he still thought was unnatural. The peace between them was strange in itself, but…

Etihw was about to leave, but turned to him at the last moment.

"I wanted to tell you earlier, but there was no chance. The past is the past. That's all, though..." To his surprise, she smiled mischievously. "I had no idea you're blushing such a cute way."

"Excuse me?!"

She was gone before he could react to those words. Kcalb sat very still, trying to understand what had just happened. Not that it's the first time they've faced each other, but...

With a groan, he hid his face in his hands. He felt that he was still blushing, but luckily no one was there to notice.

And anyway… Leaving the past in the past?

He glanced at Etihw's hair still on the ground. Then he understood. Maybe not her and this new world she created, but... for the beginning it had to be enough.